How to Respond to “What Are You Looking for in a Relationship?”

How to respond to what are you looking for in a relationship? This is a very common question that turns up when online dating. Single and ready-to-mingle men and women should have a good answer ready when asked it.

So how do you respond to “what are you looking for in a relationship?” Your response to this question should be honest and from the heart. Some examples of how to respond are as follows:

  1. A relationship filled with a good sense of humor
  2. Being with a person who is a good listener
  3. A belief that maintaining good health doesn’t only consist of physical health
  4. Respecting each other’s solitude
  5. A life without pretensions
  6. Having a partner who knows the difference between arguing and fighting
  7. Agreeing on the same relationship style
  8. Being with a thoughtful partner
  9. Having someone who knows how to compromise 
  10. A partner who brings out the best version of yourself

Read on to learn more about how to respond to the question: “What are you looking for in a relationship?”

How to Respond to “What Are You Looking for in a Relationship?

“What are you looking for in a relationship?” This has been an overused question in the dating scene for many years. It still can be a challenging and difficult one to answer. It is funny how it can catch someone off guard even though it seems like such a harmless question.

To help you with this concern, we have listed 10 possible responses to this question. May our explanation for each item serve as your guide in meeting the right partner–in the same way that it becomes your guide in becoming the right person for your partner.

how to reply to what do you want in a relationship

1. A Relationship Filled with a Good Sense of Humor

Let’s face it, life is hard. So, we need to stay away from all of life’s toxicity and negativity, as much as possible. We can live without them, anyway. If you’re dating, choose a person who has a good sense of humor. Choose someone who can laugh with you amid life’s challenges.

Find somebody who can make you laugh after a stressful day in the office. Look for someone who genuinely laughs at your jokes. Basically, find a person you enjoy laughing with, especially when the going gets tough.

But this doesn’t mean that you should find a partner who’s not serious in life. There’s a big difference between a person who has a good sense of humor and a person who’s not serious in life. Have you noticed that those with a good sense of humor are actually smart ones? They are street smarts who know how to get out of a stressful situation.

Remember, you want to be in a relationship to live a happier life–not to make your life worse. So, find someone with a good sense of humor.

2. Being with a Person Who Is a Good Listener

Find someone who believes that everything you say is important. If a woman has a problem and a man gives sound advice, this means that he’s a good listener. He doesn’t only use his ear to hear her. He also uses his heart to make sure he understands her.

The same goes out for men who are searching for their life partners. Observe the way a woman responds to everything you say. If her responses don’t seem to be applicable to you, she might not be the one for you. A woman who truly listens to a man provides tailor-fit responses. This means that she considers the characteristics of the person she’s talking to, making sure that her advice is realistic and doable for him.

Again, we all know that life isn’t a bed of roses. There are times when you’ll feel like things are not turning out the way you want it to be. When the going gets rough, we all need a person we can vent out to. Sometimes, we don’t even need a quick solution to our problem. Instead, we just need someone who will listen without judging us.

When a guy asks what you are looking for, or a girl asks what you are looking for, a great response is to say “being with a good listener.”

3. A Belief That Maintaining Good Health Doesn’t Only Consist of Physical Health

Not everyone is lucky to find an incredibly health-conscious partner. By this, I mean someone who can inspire you to work out every day and eat healthy food. Let’s face it, not everyone is so serious about going to the gym. Not to mention that a 1,000-calorie burger is simply hard to resist for dinner! But, seriously, wouldn’t it be great to be with a person who encourages you to live a healthy life?

By healthy, I don’t only mean being physically healthy. In case you have forgotten, there’s this so-called emotional health, too. There’s also this thing we call mental health. So, if you’re searching for the perfect partner on Tinder or some other dating app, choose someone who helps you take care of your physical health, including your emotional and mental health.

If I may add, when we say physical health, it also means finding a partner who doesn’t physically abuse or hurt you. In the same way, when we say emotional health, it means having a partner who doesn’t use abusive words when you fight.

Both physical and emotional abuse means that your partner belittles you and makes you feel like the most futile creature on Earth. Making you feel this way will only negatively affect your mental health.

Just in case you’re in this kind of relationship right now, get out of it as soon a possible. It will not do you any good. Find somebody who respects you and cares for you deeply.

4. Respecting Each Other’s Solitude

Doesn’t it feel great if you could spend time with your significant other 24/7? Don’t we all wish that’s possible? But it isn’t. There’s an adage that says couples need to grow individually to grow together. Simply put, being together 24/7 is not healthy at all.

Even if you’re already in a serious relationship, don’t forget other people around you. Once in a while, spend time with your co-workers right after work. Find time to be with your friends over coffee. If your schedule permits, spend some time alone. Perhaps, you can read a book by the beach, attend a yoga class every week, or attend seminars and workshops. Or, maybe, do just about any activity that will help you grow.

Allow your significant other to do the same. You’ll be amazed on how much info you can share with each other. Separately spending time lets you recharge your soul batteries, allowing you to give more to your relationship.

5. A Life Without Pretensions

There’s this famous rule that if a man wants to lure a lady, he has to put his best foot forward. While this rule may be famous, does it follow that it is an effective one? I don’t think so.

Always putting your best foot forward is not you. Instead of doing so, be natural. It’s not that difficult and complicated to be a good person. So, simply be a good person to your partner. But since you’re only human, you’ll find yourself in situations where you’ll get upset or feel something negative. Everybody experiences this, and it’s alright for your partner to see how you are when you’re not okay.

You don’t have to set your best foot forward all the time. You don’t have to pretend. Because if you do, you’ll eventually grow tired of exerting an effort to pretend. It will only wear you out sooner or later. Worse, instead of showing your best self, you’ll end up showing the worst you.

So if someone asks you what you are looking for in a relationship, a good response is to say that you are looking for someone who you can be comfortable around – without pretensions.

what are you looking for in a relationship response

Continue reading to see how to respond to “What are you looking for in a relationship?”

6. Having a Partner Who Knows the Difference Between Arguing and Fighting

They say that when you’re in a relationship, fighting once in a while is healthy. Perhaps, fighting is not the correct term as it has a negative connotation. When we say fighting, it could involve physical, emotional, and mental abuse. Perhaps, the correct term would be arguing.

A healthy relationship involves a couple who exerts effort in learning how to deal with disagreements. Learn to listen to each other’s concerns and cooperate in coming up with solutions.

Isn’t it ironic how we exert effort to hear out our co-workers but not with our partner? We even consider different factors to be able to come up with suitable solutions to every concern. However, we find it challenging to do for our partner in life. Remember, your partner isn’t supposed to be your enemy. Your partner is the person who will stand by you until the end.

7. Agreeing on the Same Relationship Style

Just because a person is good and fun to be with, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you can already have a relationship with him or her. What if the way he handles a relationship is different from the way you handle yours? In which case, you will always be in conflict with each other.

If you’re dating someone, don’t be scared to ask about their past relationships. Be open about it. In the same way that you’re open about sharing your own story. You may also ask about their relationships with their family, co-workers, and friends. Observe the way they talk about them. Assess if the way they care for their loved ones is the same as yours.

8. Being with a Thoughtful Partner

Having a thoughtful partner is synonymous to having a caring one. So, if you’re dating someone, observe how he talks about his family and friends. Does he call or text them once in a while to check on them? When you’re not together, does he check on you, too? Does he remember your favorite food or your favorite restaurant? What about your favorite color?

This isn’t only about how thoughtful a man is. Of course, a man also needs to assess how thoughtful a woman is. Having a thoughtful partner gives us security. It assures us that we’re not alone.

So if you are asked on Tinder or some other dating app what you are looking for in a relationship, a great response is to say “being with a thoughtful partner.”

9. Having Someone Who Knows How to Compromise

Learning to compromise is related to our ability to handle arguments. Because you see, even if we find someone who matches our personality, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the person always has the same mindset as ours.

For example, conflict may arise when a man’s approach to solving problems is different from that of a woman. In which case, both parties should learn to compromise. If you find this hard to do, focus on your end-goals. And if both of you have the same end-goals, then it wouldn’t hurt to compromise and cooperate. Both of you will achieve your goals at the end of the day.

10. A Partner Who Brings out the Best Version of Yourself

Be in a relationship that helps bring out the best in you. Just because you love a person deeply doesn’t mean that you are in a perfect relationship. For all you know, it may be a toxic one. And instead of having a partner who brings out the best in you, you might end up being a war freak.

Be with someone who always encourages you to be a better person. Look for a person who is not selfish and allows you to explore. Find someone who doesn’t focus on your weaknesses but instead focuses on your strengths. Be with a person who wants to see you succeed. These pieces of advice, of course, goes out for both men and women.

Conclusion – How to Respond to “What Are You Looking for in a Relationship?

So, to recap, how do you respond to what are you looking for in a relationship? Here again, is the list of answers that we have earlier discussed.

  1. A relationship filled with a good sense of humor
  2. Being with a person who is a good listener
  3. A belief that maintaining good health doesn’t only consist of physical health
  4. Respecting each other’s solitude
  5. A life without pretensions
  6. Having a partner who knows the difference between arguing and fighting
  7. Agreeing on the same relationship style
  8. Being with a thoughtful partner
  9. Having someone who knows how to compromise
  10. A partner who brings out the best version of yourself

Always remember that it will be easier for you to answer the question when you respond from the heart. It pays to be honest not only to other people but to yourself more than anything else.