How to Respond to Ghosting [Ghosted by a Guy or Girl]

It hurts, but you really can’t prevent someone you’re dating from ghosting you. A 2018 study revealed that around 25% of people who are dating are ghosted by their dates. So, how to respond to ghosting?

If someone has ghosted you, you can send them a voicemail or message saying that you haven’t heard from them lately and that you hope you haven’t done anything to offend them. Tell them that if there’s an issue, you’d be happy to talk. If there’s none, wish them the best.

Times have changed, and somehow ghosting has already gained acceptance under certain circumstances. It’s really tempting to seek answers when someone you’re dating suddenly disappears.

Read on to learn more about how you can properly respond if someone you’re dating ghosts you and some useful tips to deal with this situation.

How to Respond to Ghosting

how to respond to ghosting

Ghosting is when someone you are dating or texting suddenly disappears without a trace. It is a mean act, so it’s understandable for you to feel that you’re entitled to an explanation. But usually, you get nothing.

What do you do when your texts go unanswered? The usual next step would be to send them a voicemail or message saying that you haven’t heard from them lately and that you hope there’s nothing you did that offended them.

You might also say if there’s an issue that needs to be resolved, you’d be happy to talk with them. Otherwise, you could wish them all the best. Hopefully, that last statement will give closure to the situation.

However, some experts believe that you shouldn’t bother texting or talking to a ghost. There’s wisdom in that statement, and you will see why as you continue reading this article.

Below, let’s look at how to respond to ghosting from a guy and then how to respond to ghosting by a girl.

How to Respond to a Guy That Ghosted You

When a guy ghosts you, you’ll naturally be asking why. And that’s when the stress comes in. You’ll be thinking about the reason, and you might even blame yourself. This is not a good situation to be in as you shouldn’t overanalyze what happened.

You have to accept that many people, women and men alike, are used to ghosting their dates. Perhaps, you’re just the latest one that they ghosted. So, how do you respond if a guy ghosts you?

Pause and Take a Minute to Think

When a guy ghosts you, it’s natural for you to react right away. However, hold your judgment first, and don’t do anything without thinking. Just remind yourself about the fact that you’re not the only girl that somebody has ghosted.

Research conducted by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships revealed that about 20% of their participants admitted that they had ghosted someone. Around 25% of the respondents also admitted that someone had ghosted them. [1]

It’s quite natural for you to feel a loss of self-esteem. You might even feel stressed because of that. It is a time when you need a boost in your self-confidence. So, you may feel the need for someone to help you make sense out of these things you are currently experiencing.

What if this guy who ghosted you calls you back? That would really restore your self-esteem, right? You will think that the guy still sees you as worthy after all. But don’t think everything is all good if he indeed calls you back. 

It would also be a mistake to confront the guy about the ghosting he has done to you. That would just put him on the defense and may even push you further away. The fact that he returned shows you that there was something that made him realize that the ghosting he did to you was wrong. The point in all of this is to think first before acting.

Confirm Your Suspicion

If you just met the guy and he doesn’t contact you anymore, it wouldn’t be right to think that he’s already ghosting you. However, if you’ve been dating this guy for several weeks or months, then suddenly he loses contact, it’s natural to be suspicious.

And that’s the keyword: suspicious. You don’t know what’s really going on with him. So, don’t overanalyze the situation. The guy might have many things on his plate, and that’s why he hasn’t been communicating with you.

What you can do is to ask a mutual friend about the current circumstances of the guy. Ask them if this person is doing okay or not. If you know the guy’s social media account, you can check if he’s posting new photos or new activities.

Maybe the reason he hasn’t contacted you yet is that he’s undergoing physical or emotional problems. You could send him a message and ask him if he’s okay. Let him know that you’re here for him if he’s going through rough times.

Be Willing to Face the Facts

Once you have confirmed your suspicion that the guy is indeed ghosting you, you have to be willing to accept the truth and move on from there. Don’t get trapped in denial. If this guy posts pictures of himself enjoying his life on his social media account, then take it as a sign that he’s ghosting you. If your mutual friend says that he is doing okay, then that’s it.

Don’t ever blame yourself for the situation. The guy doesn’t care about what you think or feel at the moment. So, you must do likewise. Don’t keep on holding out hope that he might contact you again.

If he does contact you in the future, don’t rush in answering him. Take your time. Listen to what he has to say but use your better judgment. It is best to forgive, but it is wiser to protect yourself from getting hurt by him again.

Give Yourself Time to Grieve

If you were going out with this person for some time and suddenly he cuts off your relationship without any plausible reason, that will really hurt. You have been wounded. And just like a physical wound, your emotional wound must be acknowledged.

In other words, you have to give yourself time to grieve and heal. Don’t squash your feelings and make it appear like it’s just a small thing. If it’s really a big thing for you, then repressing your feelings won’t do you any good. Cry it all out until the grief subsides, and then move on to the next chapter of your life.

Grieving is one of the processes of healing. Children cry out when they accidentally get a wound. You don’t have to bawl and cry out loud and make a ruckus, but it’s not good to repress your anguish either. Cry on the shoulder of someone who really understands you. This could be your best friend, parent, sister, or whoever will not judge you and can really help you move on.

Watch Your Physical and Mental Health

Don’t ever allow your grief to grow to such an extent that you don’t eat anymore or you avoid getting any physical activity. If that happens, your emotional balance is being compromised by the ghosting this guy did on you.

Get a hold of yourself. Don’t skip meals. Apply yourself more in your work or some other physical activity.

Meet New People and Date Other Men

The field is wide, and there are more opportunities out there waiting for the brave and adventurous. One or two bad experiences should not deter you from the opportunities that await you in the dating field.

To help you in this phase of your recovery, here are some suggestions:

  • Remember that life is just a cycle of aches and pains. If you can overcome small aches, you will be able to overcome greater challenges in the future.
  • Join groups or activities within your field of interest. You may meet someone there who shares your likes and dislikes and will be more closely associated with your mindset.

So, how to respond to ghosting by a guy? If a guy ghosts you, you can send them a voicemail or text message saying that you haven’t heard from them lately and that you hope you haven’t done anything to offend them. Tell them that if there’s an issue, you’d be happy to talk. If there’s none, wish them the best.

Next, let’s look at how to respond when a girl ghosts you. Many of the ways to respond are similar for guys and girls.

How to Respond to a Girl That Ghosted You

It’s not only guys that ghosts girls. Girls do that too. Even to guys, it is still an awful feeling to be ghosted. You don’t know what happened and why suddenly this girl you’re interested in doesn’t call you anymore. So how to respond to being ghosted by a girl? Consider these tips:

Accept the Fact

Don’t deny it but accept the fact she has already ghosted you. Denying the fact will only prolong your anguish. Not accepting that she doesn’t want to contact you anymore will prolong the awful feeling. Feeling sorry for yourself for too long will not do you any good.  

By her actions, she’s telling you that you are not worth her time. That’s the fact that you have to accept. But that’s just her opinion. It does not mean that you are an unworthy person. Every human being in this world has their own intrinsic worth. So, why spend time longing for someone who doesn’t think you are worthy?

Go For Closure Even If There Are No Answers

Don’t try to get answers. They are not forthcoming because you already lost contact with her. Choose closure instead, even if the answers are not coming. Waiting for the answers before closing this chapter of your life will only prolong your grief.

Instead of waiting for answers, get into activities that are more productive in the long run, like looking for new girls to date or new hobbies that you have set aside before because of this girl who just ghosted you.

Refocus Your Energy

Holding on to a painful experience is just wasting your energy. Your life will be practically on hold and you won’t be able to do anything constructive. Instead, focus your mental, emotional, and physical energy on creating new relationships with people, particularly girls (since you are dating) who give you value.

how to respond to a girl that ghosted you

Rebuild Your Self-Esteem

Don’t forget that you are worth something. Even if some people don’t treat you how you should be treated, that’s their problem, not yours. As long as you keep your humanity intact, you are worth something.

And that worth will increase and multiply if you focus on your talents, skills, and natural gifts. Use your inherent gifts to face your tasks and challenges. This is the best way to rebuild your self-confidence.

Don’t Exact Your Revenge

Don’t exact your revenge against other people, especially against other women. They are not the ones at fault. It is the girl who ghosted you. And she may have her own legitimate reasons for doing so.

There are many women out there who may have an approach and outlook that are similar to yours. It is worth your time to go out looking for them instead of trying to hold on to someone who does not like you.

Most women are not out there dating just to hurt men. They are just simply looking for what really interests them. In fact, you have the same approach, too, if you will admit it. Let go of the old and look for new. There should be something that would interest you in the women that you will meet in the future.

Always keep in mind that your rejection does not really determine your value as a person. Ask yourself, who ghosted who? You don’t really have a problem because you were not the one who did the ghosting. It’s their problem, not yours.

Conclusion: How to Respond to Being Ghosted (by a Guy or Girl)

One good way to respond to someone who ghosted you is to send them a voicemail or a message. Say that you haven’t heard from them lately and tell them that you hope you haven’t done anything to offend them.

Tell them that should there be any issues, you’d be happy to talk. If there are no issues involved, just wish them the best. That will serve as a definite closure in your relationship.