Are you currently friends with someone now and thinking about asking her to be your girlfriend? Do you think she’s the one? How long should you wait before asking her out?
How long should you wait to ask a girl to be your girlfriend? If you spend a lot of time with a girl (so you get to know her well), anywhere from 2 to 4 months is a reasonable amount of time to ask her to be your girlfriend.
While there really is no definite time frame here, the key is to get to know her really well before asking her to be your girlfriend. It comes down to how the relationship and your interaction with her have been going up until this point.
In this article, I’ll go into detail about how long you should wait to ask a girl to be your girlfriend. I’ll also list signs that she is ready to be your girlfriend, and how you should pop the question.
How Long Should You Wait to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend?
Every relationship is different. It moves along its own timeline. How long should you wait before asking a girl to be your girlfriend? It can be really confusing and there is no precise answer to this question. But there are some important questions to ask yourself and factors to consider. Basically, it will boil down to this: do you know each other well enough and are you both ready to go exclusive?
While you’re dating, use that time to really get to know her. People tend to be different when you first meet. Both genders will most likely put their best foot forward during the first few dates. For some women though, they may be too guarded or will have their walls up, especially if you met through a dating site or from other online platforms. If you knew each other before you started dating, she may be more open and things may be more natural on your first few dates.
Before asking the girl to be your girlfriend, ask yourself the following questions:
1. Have You Been Spending a Lot of Time Together?
It takes about 3 to 4 months to really get to know a person. Use this time to go on a variety of dates: go to the movies, have dinner at a fancy restaurant. Grab some lunch at a hole-in-the-wall diner, take hikes, go to the beach. Basically, do things that are of interest to you with her. By doing so, you get to see how she likes and feels about them.
Say you’re a guy who likes the sun. Take her to the beach with you. That way, you will know if she likes the sun too or doesn’t enjoy being under it at all. If you have differences in interests, ask yourself if this is something you will be okay with. A lot of couples have nonidentical interests but the key is that they are both all right with it.
2. Do You Know Her Well Enough?
Get to know her really well. I once came across this quote on social media. It said, “Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t give you the burning desire to dig deeper.”
So do dig deeper. You must, however, feel that desire to get to know her better. You know that slight punch in your gut telling you that you do want to know more about her? Follow it.
Ask questions. Ask what she likes. From the simplest questions like “What’s your favorite movie?” to more personal questions about family, friends, and career. Somehow, her answers will give you a better gauge of knowing if you really want her to be your girlfriend. Oh, and please, remember her answers. To most women, it matters that you remember the tiniest of details. 😊
Don’t rush your final decision. It is important to use dating as a time to get to know each other well. Remember, the goal here is to be exclusive with the right person.
3. Can You Actually See a Future with This Person?
This is a big question, but a really essential one. You think she’s the one. You’ve ticked off all the boxes in your dating checklist. Attractive – check. Smart – check. Witty – check. And so on and so forth. The question now is: Do you think you see a future with her? Given, when you say future, it may not mean getting married yet or settling down. Maybe it’s just a long-term relationship. Do you see yourself still being with her in five years? Ten years?
Let me tell you the story of my friend Bren. He was dating this girl who was the total package for about three months. They had this shared interest in hiking and biking and spent most of their weekends doing these activities. They were great on the weekends, but then Bren realized the weekdays were mediocre. They shared nothing much beyond hiking and biking. It was fine for a while. They thrived on weekends, but pretty soon, they got burned out. Bren knew then he couldn’t see a future with this person.
Your needs in a partner will evolve as you date. It is crucial that you figure out if she is a good fit before asking her to be your girlfriend.
Being exclusive is officially being a couple. This is when you both decide that you only want to date each other. It is declaring your commitment to each other and for a lot of people, this is a huge step.
4. Are You Ready to Be Exclusive?
Let’s say you feel that she is ready for that commitment. Before you ask her, ask yourself first. Assess your mind and heart if this is truly what you want. Ask yourself: do I want her to be a part of my daily life? Do I get excited at the thought of spending time with her? Will I choose her over some random new girl that I might meet through an app? If yes, then you are ready to be exclusive and it is a green light to asking her to be your girlfriend.
The key here is to give yourself room to get to know her better. Never rush decisions with your heart. As the saying goes, when you fall in love, use your heart but take your brain with you.
We’ve answered the question, “how long should you wait to ask a girl out?”; next, let’s look at how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend.
How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend
And so you have made that decision that you will ask her to be your girlfriend. The question now is how do you ask her to make that transition from dating to being exclusive? There’s a lot to be said about asking her. It’s not merely stringing together a bunch of words into a question and then hoping for the best. You are offering yourself to her and asking her to be yours. The way you ask her will tell her a lot about who you really are.
- Ask her in person: Ditch the idea of asking her via text message. Asking her to be your girlfriend in person will be much more personal and special. This also allows both of you to see each other’s reactions. It also allows for physical contact. You may ask while you hold her hand and gaze into her eyes.
- Choose the right time and place: Set the stage for this important question. Pick a place where you can both focus on each other. A quiet, romantic setting will make her realize that you thought about this decision and it wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment thing. Choose a place where you won’t have an audience so that she feels no pressure and is comfortable.
- Be clear: Express yourself clearly and never beat around the bush. Do not ask in a vague way that may cause her doubts if she understood clearly. You will also want to be certain that she did say yes (hopefully) to you.
- Be confident: Make her feel that this is really what you want. Conquer your nervousness as it may make you fumble for words.
- Choose the right words: Yes, you can directly ask the question “Will you be my girlfriend?” However, there are so many ways to ask. You may say something like “I have never met anyone I like as much as you. Can you be my girlfriend?” Or “I will be the happiest man if you would say yes to being my girlfriend. What do you think?” Just add a personal touch to the question, but make sure it comes across.
- Be creative: There are so many ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend in adorable and endearing ways. Use your imagination. The way you ask her will be ingrained in her memory. Make it count.
I know of someone who had a cake made with the words “Will you be mine?” on top of it. One other friend actually hired a singing telegram to pop the question! Think about how it will be special for her. Again, you want her to feel that everything is well-planned.
Signs That She Is Ready to Be Your Girlfriend
Usually, you will feel it in your gut that the person you are dating likes you too. You just somehow know. Nowadays, however, dating and relationships aren’t one and the same. She might just seem really into you but isn’t really ready to commit. Here are a few signs that she is ready to take your relationship to the next level:
- Her body language – When you are together, does she lean towards you when you talk? Does she usually want to touch you, like maybe put her hand over yours when you’re at a table facing each other? When she sits next to you, does she rest her knee against yours? If she usually wants to have her body touch against yours, it’s a good sign that she really likes you.
- Inviting you to family gatherings – If she ever has asked you to a family event, it is usually a very big deal! She is integrating you into her intimate circle. Guys, this is almost always a huge sign that she is so into you.
- Asking to meet your friends and family – She wants to find out if she will fit in with your family and friends. She also wants to see how you interact with them. This, too, is a good sign that she wants a relationship with you.
- Asking a lot of questions – She is asking a lot of questions (maybe questions about your past, too) because she wants to know more about you. Think about it, if she didn’t care she wouldn’t bother asking. Curiosity is a good sign. It means she wants to build something with you.
- Opening the door to her past – OK, men, please remember this: It is never easy for a girl to talk about her past, more so if she has ever been hurt by an ex-boyfriend. So when she does this, it’s a good sign. She is opening herself to you and telling you she trusts you, hoping it will be better with you this time.
- Discussing the future with you – When she talks about the future, does she use the words “we” and “us”? If she does, then it is just mint! It means she sees a future with you and wants a relationship with you.
- You are her go-to person – When she has something to share, does she call you straight away? If she has problems, are you the first person she seeks? If she does, then it means you are her default go-to person and she feels safe and secure with you. She wants you to share in her victories and difficulties.
- She remembers the things you say – Did it surprise you that she remembers your favorite book that you just mentioned in passing? Well, take it as a good sign. Let’s face it, women have a million things going on all the time and so if they remember the details of the things you said, that means she is interested. It means she listens to everything you say.
Conclusion – How Long Should You Wait to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend?
So to recap, how long should you wait to ask a girl to be your girlfriend? Or, how long should you wait to ask a girl out? Most dating experts will agree on an average of about 2 to 4 months is a decent amount of time to wait before asking a girl to be your girlfriend.
The key is to get to know her really well including whether she is compatible with you and your interests. For some people, the time it takes can take longer than 2 to 4 months as they are unsure how they feel about each other. For some couples, they know almost within the 1st month that they want to go steady and be boyfriend-girlfriend.
It may be difficult to read a woman’s mind. If she hasn’t verbally said she likes you, you will need to rely on signs and signals, however subtle they may be. Rely on your gut, too. It’s usually right. In the end, you’ll never know if you don’t ask. Just remember, getting to know her really well is the key to knowing how long you should wait to ask a girl to be your girlfriend.