How long should you know someone before asking them out? It can be tricky when you meet someone you like but aren’t sure if you should ask them out just yet. You don’t want to ask too soon, and you don’t want to be in the friend zone for too long. In this article, I will describe how long to wait before taking it to the next level.
How long should you know someone before dating? A reasonable amount of time to wait before asking someone out on a date is 2 to 4 months. You might be able to ask them out sooner than this. The time to wait depends on how good of a fit they are with you and how much time you are spending.
To know the other person, you have to spend quality time with them before finally making your commitment. If you do this, you will be able to save yourself from too much heartache.
There is no exact time before you can safely commit to an exclusive relationship. From the time that you meet a person, it is reasonable to give at least two months to broach the idea of making it exclusive.
Read on to learn more about how long you should know someone before asking them out, and how to ask them out.
How Long Should You Know Someone Before Asking Them Out?
The least you should give yourself and the other person is 10 dates. It is good to spread these ten dates over the course of about two months. This is a recommended amount of time given by many dating experts and consultants.
Two months will provide you with some amount of time to do various activities together. You will be able to see each other in different settings, meet with other people, get to each other’s likes and dislikes, and do various things.
You need to give allowances to each other because, in the early stages of dating, you will only know things about the other person that they want to tell you. In other words, what you will learn about the other person is what they only choose to divulge about themselves.
In reality, these are just the headlines of their lives. You don’t know if they are telling the truth. So, you don’t have a logical reason to believe what they say. And that is not enough information for you to decide if it is OK to make the relationship exclusive.
You can have a glimpse of their character by reacting to things, situations, and certain types of people. But this will take a long time because there is no way for you to see how they conduct their everyday lives.
So, you cannot give the exact time needed to know the other person. Depending on your personalities and the time you spend together, it can take from one to four months before you can safely commit to an exclusive relationship. But it is safe to broach the idea of making it complete after about two months into your dating.
You don’t want to be in a bad relationship and have to deal with the heartache of breaking up soon after meeting. Before asking someone out on a date, you should know the other person through and through. This way, you won’t hurt each other in the future.
Factors That Determine How Long You Should Know the Person
Do not rush to ask the person out too soon. Before asking them out, consider the below factors:
1. The Amount of Time You Spend Together
The more both you spend time, the more you will know the other person, and the sooner you will get to know them. If you are interested in them, you should try to spend several days a week together, whether eating out, walking in the park, seeing a movie, and similar things.
2. The Quality of Your Conversations
You will be able to know what goes in their mind if you talk about different topics. Since people are different from each other, specific issues that appeal to you may not appeal to them.
The only way you can know this is by introducing the topics that appeal to you. If they don’t have much to say about that topic, then go to another one that you like. If the response is still the same, then go to another one. If they responded in the same manner, then think about another relationship. This person is not for you, no matter how much you like them now.
3. Your Access to the Other Person
The availability of the other person vastly determines how long you will be able to know them. If they are only available once a month, then you are in for the long haul.
4. Your Ability to See the Other Person in Different Settings
To be able to know a person, you got to walk a mile in their shoes – so they say. You need have to see them not just in their playtime but in their work time too. How do their friends treat them? Do you know how they relate to their families? How do they treat other people? All of these things take time to learn and experience.
5. Finding out the Things They Care About
Discovering the things the other person cares about takes time. You can find out if you will ask them. But the best way is to watch them in real-life situations. And this will take time.
6. Finding out Their Current Relationship with Their Exes
If the other person has a former relationship, find out how they relate with each other now.
7. Asking Them about Their Future Plans
You need to know what their plans are if you are going into a serious relationship. Your future is at stake here, so you need to know. And this will also take some probing time.
How to Ask Someone Out on a Date – When You Are Ready
You are putting yourself at risk by asking someone for a date. It is therefore wise to be armed with the right techniques when asking someone to go out with you on a date. Consider the following tips:
1. Ask in a Simple and Straightforward Manner
Simply ask for a date. It is not acceptable to be subtle if you want to ask the person out. You will only send confusing signals if you sound uncommitted and vague. What you can do is to ask, “Are you available for dinner Monday night?” Don’t ask, “Do you want to hang out on Monday?”
2. Start with Small Talk
If you ask someone for a date IRL (in real life), start your move with small talk. See how they respond. If the response is dry and dull, move on. But if the answer is positive, discuss something that is of common interest to both of you in your current situation.
Look at their body language as they talk. If you feel that everything is going well, drop the question: “Can we meet again tomorrow at this place?” or something else to that effect.
3. Do Not Overanalyze It
Don’t allow your fear of rejection to make you imagine many scenarios that you need to get a date. Sometimes we worry about things that won’t happen. So, please don’t waste your time overthinking it.
Just go for it and ask, “Can we meet tomorrow or next Saturday for dinner?” The simpler the approach, the better. If the other person says no, move on. But if she says yes, be ready to give the other person a very special time.
4. If You Texted Take Note of the Response
If you asked the person through a text message and you received a vague response, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have rejected your request for a date. If they gave you an alternate day or time, it is not a rejection. Perhaps they are not free at the time you suggested.
However, if they replied that they are too busy and gave no alternative, then drop it. Move on to another more responsive person. The simple truth is that: if someone wants to go on a date with you, they will say yes, and vice versa.
We’ve answered the question, “how long should you know someone before asking them out?”, or “how long should you talk to someone before asking them out?”. Next, let’s look at the signs that show you are ready to date.
Signs That Show You Are Ready to Date
When you want to ask someone out on a date, somehow, you just know if you can take it to the next level. Here are the signs that will show you just that.
1. They Remember What You Said
You will know if the other person is interested if they remember the things that you say. For instance, they will recognize your favorite song that you just mentioned casually.
Women, especially, have so many things going in their minds. For them to remember casual information about somebody means they are interested in that person. It means they are listening to what you are saying.
2. Their Body Language Will Tell You
Does the person lean towards you when you talk? If so, they are interested in you. Is the person not offended when you touch them, even if it is obvious you want to feel them? If the other person has no qualms about both your hands touching each other, then you’ve got it made.
3. They Ask so Many Questions about You
If the other person is asking so many questions about you, such as your likes and dislikes, family, work, and so forth, that’s a clear indication that you have their interest. They want to know you more, so they are asking such questions.
4. You Seem to Be Their Go-to Person
If they have a problem, you are the first person they seek. Whenever the other person has something to share, she will inform you right away. That means you are their default go-to-guy. They feel safe and secure with you around.
5. They Want to Meet Your Family and Friends
If the other person wants to meet your family and friends, this is a sure sign that you can take your relationship to the next level. They want to know how they can fit with your close relations.
6. They Invite You to Their Family Gatherings
Once the person asks you to join their family event, you have indeed hit the jackpot. They want to integrate you into their family. The other person is interested in you if they do this.
7. They Start to Reveal Their Past
If the other person begins to reveal their past, this means they trust you since it is usually not easy for a person to disclose confidential information. So, if they do this, it means they have considered you as somebody they can trust.
8. They Start to Discuss Their Future with You
When the object of your affection starts to discuss their future with you, this is a clear sign that you can step up the level of your relationship. If the person you’re dating begins to use the words “us” and “we” instead of “I” and “me,” they would like you to be there in their future.
Conclusion: How Long Should You Know Someone Before Dating?
So, to recap, how long should you know someone before asking them out? There is no definite time, but it is safe to assume that it will take from 2 to 4 months before you can ask someone out on a date.
From the day you started dating the other person, it is reasonable to give at least two months to broach the idea of making it exclusive. Some couples become exclusive earlier, depending on how good a fit they are and how much time they are spending together.